Lately I have been feeling a little lost without a friend. Moving to SC was great in a lot of ways, but we have found ourselves devoid of any close friends here for the first time. In all our other moves we were able to make a set of good friends who we could hang out with, laugh with and talk to. It is not SC's fault. It is more to do with the period we are at in our lives, but it doesn't make it suck any less.
I've been yearning for that friend who thinks I'm funny even when I'm just being strange. Who chooses to seek out my company and doesn't wait on me to do it all. Someone who stands by me when I'm happy, sad, angry, cranky or sick. Someone who is game to do all the crazy spontaneous things that pop up in my mind at the drop of a hat. Someone with whom I can be 100% completely, totally myself at all times.
And then it hit me. I already have all of that.
While I was making the one millionth circuit around the downstairs with my knees and ankles locked out, my arms extended with fingers out and palms facing inward, shouting "I. Am. A. Robot. I. Am. Going. To. Get. You" and listening to the near breathless hysterics of the little man I was chasing on yet another rainy day, it hit me: Wyatt is my best friend. And he is the best friend a gal could ever hope for.
So while I still would love to have fellow adult friendship and talk, laugh and do crazy non toddler things, I think I am pretty darn lucky right where I am at. I do have people I ride with on occasion, friends I text and commiserate with when they are having a bad day or celebrate with them when something good happens. I have people who randomly call me to say hello or drop a facebook message. But that one special person who is game for almost anything, who laughs at all my jokes and couldn't imagine me being anyone else even when my filter breaks and I say something I shouldn't have, well he just happens to be three years old, blonde and with the most gorgeous hazel eyes you have ever seen.
I think it is difficult to make adult friends if you have moved away from the people you knew growing up. Especially after you have a kid. It changes perspective, changes priorities. I know, even when we attempted to connect with the parents of T's friends, that what we realized is that our parenting style and priorities were vastly different from the majority of parents we know. And the lesbian thing didn't help since most of the parents we met were okay with inviting T, but not interested in getting to know his parents. Add to that, our work schedule, T's complete lack of interest in any team sport (he skis, runs cross-country, and did TaeKwondo) and our lack of immediate family made for real difficulties in finding people we could laugh, hang out with or just flat out talk to. I think that is why, as T moves from kid to adult, we are both pretty happy with our current hobby of riding/biking with K, her hubs and Eddy.
ReplyDeleteThat's also why, at least for me, the connections I've made via the blog and then on FB have helped alleviate some of that loneliness. Even if we don't talk in person, we do share our lives this way.
It really is the main reason I blog and love to read other blogs. It is a connection that I can make even at 2 am.
DeleteI kinda thought we would make friends at his daycare, but man those parents run in and out and never even look at anyone else. We stay and help Wyatt go potty, get settled and make sure he is ok. I'm guessing when he reaches school age it will be similar.
I'm feeling the same struggle with our move to Michigan. I left my best friend from college in Washington, and just after she had her first kid, no less. I left my best horse friend in Washington too. She's the one who finally got me out to an endurance ride.
ReplyDeleteI don't really feel connected to any parents I've met around Kaylee's school and they all have prior relationship because they grew up in our small town and went to the same high school. It's hard to break into. I miss having an adult relationship. But as Kaylee has grown up it's hilarious having conversations with her and seeing how her mind works and how her personality shines through. I love building space ships out of Lego with her, or drawing together.
Nobody warns you never to move as an adult!
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