Tomorrow morning will see one very excited and very nervous woman driving her truck and trailer from SC to TN to sign in for the 50 mile Barefoot Shine and Wine ride. Look out here we come!!!
I worry that I am setting myself up for disappointment. This ride has been such a long time coming that it holds more weight in my emotional health than it probably should. The more I think about the significance of this ride, the less it seems to be centered around our arrival at the finish line safe and sound.
Yes, the goal is and will continue to be finishing 50 miles sound and happy in 12 hours or less, but honestly even if we only make the first 20 mile loop or heck don't even get to start, I feel like I've already won the war.
This particular war started nearly 5 years ago when I brought home a fugly little bay pony who didn't listen a darn under saddle and wasn't safe out on trail either in a group or alone. She scared me more than she thrilled me and more times than not I left the barn in tears vowing to sell her.
Gem's transition throughout the last 5 years has been a remarkable one in a physical sense, but really she hasn't changed a whole lot personality or maturity wise. She does things now she never would have done 5 years ago, but it isn't because she grew up, got bold or became a different horse. No. It is because I grew up, I got bold and I became a different rider.
The war has never been with Gem. It has always been against myself. My timidity, my fears, my lack of bravery. I was afraid to go out alone on trails, I was afraid to canter in open spaces, I was afraid to drive the truck and I was afraid to go far away from home.
And now I look at myself and all the things Gem and I have done to get to where we are today - standing on the brink of a massive adventure. Tomorrow morning I will pack up my horse and drive 5 hours alone to set up camp at a ride where I know nobody and then ride 50 miles alone and bring her home. The person I was 5 years ago never would have done that, but the person I am today is ready to go.
So, while I will be insanely disappointed if we don't get to cross that finish line 50 miles away and bring home a completion, I feel as though I have already won. All I really care about is bringing Gem back home safe and sound so that we can enjoy the next 5 years together.
October 15, 2014
October 9, 2014
One week to go!!
Can you tell just how excited I am??? I leave one week from today to achieve a goal I have had for 4 years now. So close. So very, very close.
Monday I went out to ride, but as I was grooming her I realized how little day light was left. While I love the atmosphere of hushed ancient panic to get all the calories in as possible before winter hits, the sound of leaves crunching underfoot and the crisp breeze of autumn, I really dislike the sun setting earlier and earlier. My nights at the barn are quickly becoming extinct.
Instead of hastily getting a couple frantic loops on the grass tracks in before it was too dark to be safe, I opted to just hand jog her around them. I instantly wished I had prepared for that and wore shorts instead of my cotton breeches. We set off at a good clip down the grassy track separating the mares and geldings and worked on our trot out command. She was behaving well until we reached the back corner and came down the long, far side of the gelding pasture. It really is all my fault because I was feeling good and enjoying the endorphin rush I was getting from taking an early evening jog with my horse on a warm fall day. I picked up the pace and let myself sprint down the far side, urging Gem into a race (like I could ever beat her on foot!) and let out a happy "squee" as she tossed her head to the challenge and charged alongside of me. Well, the geldings took the challenge up as well and soon Pete and three others were racing alongside us on the other side of the fence. This was too much for my Gemmiecakes who became nervous and didn't know if she should still listen and stay beside me or take up the challenge of the geldings and race ahead. I kept her in check until we reached the end of the pasture and she settled again as we made it alongside the arena field toward the road.
I had already decided not to jog alongside the road on foot. She is really good around cars and such but it only takes one jerk honking, screaming or throwing something to result in a broken bone or hurt horse, so I planned to just turn back around and go the way we came. As we neared my turn around point, a herd of horses from across the road came charging towards us to their fence. I didn't know horses were even over there and by the look on Gem's face, she didn't either. She let out the loudest, most disgruntled snort I have ever heard come from a horse and spun around. She was up, up, up and pranced with tail flagged and the most gorgeous Arabian floating gait I have ever seen her do. Too bad she doesn't do that under saddle! Now my alarm bells were ringing. I could take my flaming dragon alongside the road or back alongside the hopped up geldings again. I chose the geldings to be away from the road and we managed to go along the far side with her prancing circles around me and trying to canter in place when I made her stop. Eventually we turned the corner to the back side and she calmed down enough that I asked her to jog the rest of the way back. Good grief!! I don't need either of us hurt now!!!
Before I left I grabbed a small amount of grain and mixed in her vitamin powder and gave her both as a treat as well as to hopefully continue the trend of her eating well after working.
Tuesday I had a lull in my schedule at work and the weather was stunning. Sunny and 80 with a slight breeze. I didn't have enough time to ride, but could get a bath in, so I grabbed Her Highness who was most decidedly not very happy to see me two days in a row. I told her it was spa day, but that didn't seem to cheer her up at all. I shampooed her up then applied conditioner to her mane and tail and let it soak for a bit before rinsing. I noticed that she is maintaining a great body weight (still a BCS of 6 :) and looks really good right now. Eventually I unhooked her from the cross ties and let her graze in the barn yard until dry. Once dry we headed back to the cross ties for a brushing and once again I gave her the grain with vitamins which she scarfed down. Back out in the pasture, she looked at me funny and walked away shiny and clean to roll in the dirt.
Wednesday morning before work I headed back to the barn to meet the vet for her health certificate so we could legally leave the state next week. She came right up to me and laid her head in the arms :) Back in the cross ties she went while we waited for the vet who showed up on time, had at least a clue about what endurance is, and was thorough but quick. While he filled out the form, I loved up on Gem and scratched her neck. She rested her head on my shoulder and slowly it got heavier and heavier until she fell asleep!! That's a first!!! The vet commented on how wild my endurance Arab is and we all laughed at poor Gem. Once he left I attached her lead rope and went to put her back out, but she wouldn't budge an inch. She stood in the wash area looking at me like I had lost my mind and would not move. I looked at the hubby and he laughed saying that she was looking for her grain. So I went and got her red bucket and put some grain and her powder in. Once she licked it clean, she readily walked away and back out to pasture. Spoiled mare!
Now it is Thursday and all my tack is sitting at home waiting to be cleaned. I think I may give Gem the day off and work on cleaning the tack instead. I told myself that I would pack as much as possible this weekend to take stock of what I need to get last minute and what I can make do without and tonight may be a good night to start that endeavor too.
One week to go and I am getting more and more excited as the days go by!
Monday I went out to ride, but as I was grooming her I realized how little day light was left. While I love the atmosphere of hushed ancient panic to get all the calories in as possible before winter hits, the sound of leaves crunching underfoot and the crisp breeze of autumn, I really dislike the sun setting earlier and earlier. My nights at the barn are quickly becoming extinct.
Instead of hastily getting a couple frantic loops on the grass tracks in before it was too dark to be safe, I opted to just hand jog her around them. I instantly wished I had prepared for that and wore shorts instead of my cotton breeches. We set off at a good clip down the grassy track separating the mares and geldings and worked on our trot out command. She was behaving well until we reached the back corner and came down the long, far side of the gelding pasture. It really is all my fault because I was feeling good and enjoying the endorphin rush I was getting from taking an early evening jog with my horse on a warm fall day. I picked up the pace and let myself sprint down the far side, urging Gem into a race (like I could ever beat her on foot!) and let out a happy "squee" as she tossed her head to the challenge and charged alongside of me. Well, the geldings took the challenge up as well and soon Pete and three others were racing alongside us on the other side of the fence. This was too much for my Gemmiecakes who became nervous and didn't know if she should still listen and stay beside me or take up the challenge of the geldings and race ahead. I kept her in check until we reached the end of the pasture and she settled again as we made it alongside the arena field toward the road.
I had already decided not to jog alongside the road on foot. She is really good around cars and such but it only takes one jerk honking, screaming or throwing something to result in a broken bone or hurt horse, so I planned to just turn back around and go the way we came. As we neared my turn around point, a herd of horses from across the road came charging towards us to their fence. I didn't know horses were even over there and by the look on Gem's face, she didn't either. She let out the loudest, most disgruntled snort I have ever heard come from a horse and spun around. She was up, up, up and pranced with tail flagged and the most gorgeous Arabian floating gait I have ever seen her do. Too bad she doesn't do that under saddle! Now my alarm bells were ringing. I could take my flaming dragon alongside the road or back alongside the hopped up geldings again. I chose the geldings to be away from the road and we managed to go along the far side with her prancing circles around me and trying to canter in place when I made her stop. Eventually we turned the corner to the back side and she calmed down enough that I asked her to jog the rest of the way back. Good grief!! I don't need either of us hurt now!!!
Before I left I grabbed a small amount of grain and mixed in her vitamin powder and gave her both as a treat as well as to hopefully continue the trend of her eating well after working.
Tuesday I had a lull in my schedule at work and the weather was stunning. Sunny and 80 with a slight breeze. I didn't have enough time to ride, but could get a bath in, so I grabbed Her Highness who was most decidedly not very happy to see me two days in a row. I told her it was spa day, but that didn't seem to cheer her up at all. I shampooed her up then applied conditioner to her mane and tail and let it soak for a bit before rinsing. I noticed that she is maintaining a great body weight (still a BCS of 6 :) and looks really good right now. Eventually I unhooked her from the cross ties and let her graze in the barn yard until dry. Once dry we headed back to the cross ties for a brushing and once again I gave her the grain with vitamins which she scarfed down. Back out in the pasture, she looked at me funny and walked away shiny and clean to roll in the dirt.
Wednesday morning before work I headed back to the barn to meet the vet for her health certificate so we could legally leave the state next week. She came right up to me and laid her head in the arms :) Back in the cross ties she went while we waited for the vet who showed up on time, had at least a clue about what endurance is, and was thorough but quick. While he filled out the form, I loved up on Gem and scratched her neck. She rested her head on my shoulder and slowly it got heavier and heavier until she fell asleep!! That's a first!!! The vet commented on how wild my endurance Arab is and we all laughed at poor Gem. Once he left I attached her lead rope and went to put her back out, but she wouldn't budge an inch. She stood in the wash area looking at me like I had lost my mind and would not move. I looked at the hubby and he laughed saying that she was looking for her grain. So I went and got her red bucket and put some grain and her powder in. Once she licked it clean, she readily walked away and back out to pasture. Spoiled mare!
Now it is Thursday and all my tack is sitting at home waiting to be cleaned. I think I may give Gem the day off and work on cleaning the tack instead. I told myself that I would pack as much as possible this weekend to take stock of what I need to get last minute and what I can make do without and tonight may be a good night to start that endeavor too.
One week to go and I am getting more and more excited as the days go by!
October 6, 2014
GIVE AWAY!!!!
I love free stuff and I hope you do too!
I met Amber (yup, using her real name because it is all over the book!) at Biltmore while she was crewing for T in her 50. She had mentioned to me then that she had written a book and was really excited about it being picked up by a publisher. I had kept it on my radar and once I heard about the book launch I was eager to go. Saturday we drove over to a nearby horse park and I purchased two copies of her book - one for myself and one for this give away. What perfect timing!
The book is called For the Love of Horses and is about her journey with her first horse. She became an endurance junkie while on his back and learned many lessons about herself and life along the way. She has a deep Christian faith and ties each lesson she learned on the back of her gelding to a lesson about life and faith at the end of the chapter. I am about half way through the book and have enjoyed it.
At the launch were a number of her horse friends who play a role in the book. Each person signed a chapter that included a story about them. The winner of this give away gets their very own signed copy which is awesome not only for the freebie but because it helps to support my friend :)
GIVE AWAY RULES
Post a comment on this post stating your best guess for our ride time in the upcoming 50. Ride time is the official time which is generally posted a few days after the ride. I won't use my Garmin time because a) I'm pretty sure it will die before 12 hours is up and b) official times are just that....official.
The winner will be the closest time to our official time whether over or under.
You may list a time over the 12 hour limit, but that is quite mean ;)
You may also guess a pull and at what mile, but again... mean ;)
You may start posting whenever you want, but are only allowed one guess. Entries close Friday October 17th at midnight.
In the event that I don't even get to start - I will personally write each entry on a piece of paper and draw it out of my baseball hat while I drown my sorrow in free wine Thursday night.
In the event of a pull and nobody guessed a pull (again....mean but accepted :) - I will personally write each entry on a piece of paper and draw it out of my baseball hat hoping it is still legible from all my tears.
Once the official times are posted, I will inform everyone of the winner!
Hints
This is a 52 mile ride with a 12 hour time limit.
Look over at the left side bar for past distances and times for a guestimate on how we typically do.
Be honest in your guess - this is completely for fun and to support Amber's book so I don't care and won't be hurt by over times, long times or anything of the like. Just pick a time and see what happens!
This is our first 50 and I am a very conservative rider.
Ok....guess away!!!
I met Amber (yup, using her real name because it is all over the book!) at Biltmore while she was crewing for T in her 50. She had mentioned to me then that she had written a book and was really excited about it being picked up by a publisher. I had kept it on my radar and once I heard about the book launch I was eager to go. Saturday we drove over to a nearby horse park and I purchased two copies of her book - one for myself and one for this give away. What perfect timing!
The book is called For the Love of Horses and is about her journey with her first horse. She became an endurance junkie while on his back and learned many lessons about herself and life along the way. She has a deep Christian faith and ties each lesson she learned on the back of her gelding to a lesson about life and faith at the end of the chapter. I am about half way through the book and have enjoyed it.
At the launch were a number of her horse friends who play a role in the book. Each person signed a chapter that included a story about them. The winner of this give away gets their very own signed copy which is awesome not only for the freebie but because it helps to support my friend :)
GIVE AWAY RULES
Post a comment on this post stating your best guess for our ride time in the upcoming 50. Ride time is the official time which is generally posted a few days after the ride. I won't use my Garmin time because a) I'm pretty sure it will die before 12 hours is up and b) official times are just that....official.
The winner will be the closest time to our official time whether over or under.
You may list a time over the 12 hour limit, but that is quite mean ;)
You may also guess a pull and at what mile, but again... mean ;)
You may start posting whenever you want, but are only allowed one guess. Entries close Friday October 17th at midnight.
In the event that I don't even get to start - I will personally write each entry on a piece of paper and draw it out of my baseball hat while I drown my sorrow in free wine Thursday night.
In the event of a pull and nobody guessed a pull (again....mean but accepted :) - I will personally write each entry on a piece of paper and draw it out of my baseball hat hoping it is still legible from all my tears.
Once the official times are posted, I will inform everyone of the winner!
Hints
This is a 52 mile ride with a 12 hour time limit.
Look over at the left side bar for past distances and times for a guestimate on how we typically do.
Be honest in your guess - this is completely for fun and to support Amber's book so I don't care and won't be hurt by over times, long times or anything of the like. Just pick a time and see what happens!
This is our first 50 and I am a very conservative rider.
Ok....guess away!!!
October 4, 2014
Plans Now Until The Ride
Having never done this before, I am not 100% sure what is really needed in the 2 weeks leading up to it.
I knew that I wanted to get one last long ride in 3 weeks out and was happy with how that went last weekend. Now that I know we have a 20 mile loop to conquer, I am extremely happy we did it and did it well.
My plans are fairly light from here on out. I believe in entering with a well rested horse. I'm not convinced that anything I do right now will really add that much to her fitness, but ti does run the risk of injury or fatigue.
With that in mind my plans are:
I also plan on finally ordering a new pair of riding tights to replace mine that got ruined at Biltmore. I know, I know...nothing new on race day, but mine are disintegrating and super not comfortable for that long. I will re order the Irideon Issentials even if they no longer offer the red stripe.
And last, I will be taking all my tack home with me this weekend to clean, clean, clean. I don't want to clean right before the ride in case something is off or needs replacing, but I want it clean. I figure 1 or 2 short rides won't get it too dirty before we head out. If weather permits the mare will get a bath next week as well.
I knew that I wanted to get one last long ride in 3 weeks out and was happy with how that went last weekend. Now that I know we have a 20 mile loop to conquer, I am extremely happy we did it and did it well.
My plans are fairly light from here on out. I believe in entering with a well rested horse. I'm not convinced that anything I do right now will really add that much to her fitness, but ti does run the risk of injury or fatigue.
With that in mind my plans are:
- A fast paced, but short ride on the amazing tracks at the barn this weekend. Thinking 5-7 miles or so with a lot of cantering to open her up. We both enjoy this immensely and it is a nice break for monotonous trotting.
- Try to get in 2 rides during the week next week. Short 30-45 minutes of either arena or track work if time and weather permit.
- Then nothing. No riding next weekend or the week leading up to it to allow her to rest, eat and relax. I will go out and check on her, love her up and let her know I haven't abandoned her, but no real work.
I also plan on finally ordering a new pair of riding tights to replace mine that got ruined at Biltmore. I know, I know...nothing new on race day, but mine are disintegrating and super not comfortable for that long. I will re order the Irideon Issentials even if they no longer offer the red stripe.
And last, I will be taking all my tack home with me this weekend to clean, clean, clean. I don't want to clean right before the ride in case something is off or needs replacing, but I want it clean. I figure 1 or 2 short rides won't get it too dirty before we head out. If weather permits the mare will get a bath next week as well.
October 3, 2014
The Devil Is In The Details
The RM sent out an email yesterday to confirm participation and food requirements. Thursday night is a "free" (meaning included in ride fee) social with wine provided by a local vineyard and snacks. Each riders gets one additional meal included (Fri or Sat) and could purchase more meal tickets as they wanted, but she needed to verify how much food to order for each night.
The ride has long been sold out and there is a wait list apparently a mile long, so she also wanted to verify attendance in order to allow those who wanted to go have a spot.
Unfortunately, while the email contained plenty of detail about the food being served it provided none about the actual ride. I guess I know where priorities lie ;)
I shot back on email confirming my arrival Thurs and ride Fri. Originally I had bought an extra ticket for Friday's dinner for the hubby, but now I don't need it. I paid in full at time of registration and the extra ticket was $15. I asked if I could just donate my ticket to help pay for a volunteer's dinner and she was super happy to accept. I know it isn't much, but any bit helps. These rides are really expensive for RM to put on.
I also asked for more information about the ride itself explaining that I am a newbie 50 miler and nervous as all get out.
She was super nice and responded to relax and that the trails are super friendly and really well marked. There will be 3 loops with all holds back in camp. YAY!! I was super worried about an away check without any helpers and no experience with this.
The first loop is 20 miles. I am very glad that I took the time to do some 20 mile training rides lately. She should be a little more relaxed having been this far without food and a break now and I am much more confident that we can get through it.
The second is 15 miles.
The third is 17 miles.
Wait....that is 52 miles! I don't need extra miles, but I do understand the near impossibility of using trails to equal exactly 50 miles without doing some strange back tracking, weaving and circling.
And that is that. I don't know the hold times, but expect something between 40-60 minutes. I am thinking she will be pretty good for the second loop since she has done LDs and expects to go back out. The third is where it will get interesting. She will be hungry and tired and expecting to get to be done, but then boom....17 more miles!!! I am also hoping this really drives home the necessity to eat whenever possible.
The only other thing I know is that there are 20 riders in each distance each day. This means a much less stressful start unless all other 19 riders happen to be super insanely fast and leave us in their dirt.
Ready or not here we come!!!
The ride has long been sold out and there is a wait list apparently a mile long, so she also wanted to verify attendance in order to allow those who wanted to go have a spot.
Unfortunately, while the email contained plenty of detail about the food being served it provided none about the actual ride. I guess I know where priorities lie ;)
I shot back on email confirming my arrival Thurs and ride Fri. Originally I had bought an extra ticket for Friday's dinner for the hubby, but now I don't need it. I paid in full at time of registration and the extra ticket was $15. I asked if I could just donate my ticket to help pay for a volunteer's dinner and she was super happy to accept. I know it isn't much, but any bit helps. These rides are really expensive for RM to put on.
I also asked for more information about the ride itself explaining that I am a newbie 50 miler and nervous as all get out.
She was super nice and responded to relax and that the trails are super friendly and really well marked. There will be 3 loops with all holds back in camp. YAY!! I was super worried about an away check without any helpers and no experience with this.
The first loop is 20 miles. I am very glad that I took the time to do some 20 mile training rides lately. She should be a little more relaxed having been this far without food and a break now and I am much more confident that we can get through it.
The second is 15 miles.
The third is 17 miles.
Wait....that is 52 miles! I don't need extra miles, but I do understand the near impossibility of using trails to equal exactly 50 miles without doing some strange back tracking, weaving and circling.
And that is that. I don't know the hold times, but expect something between 40-60 minutes. I am thinking she will be pretty good for the second loop since she has done LDs and expects to go back out. The third is where it will get interesting. She will be hungry and tired and expecting to get to be done, but then boom....17 more miles!!! I am also hoping this really drives home the necessity to eat whenever possible.
The only other thing I know is that there are 20 riders in each distance each day. This means a much less stressful start unless all other 19 riders happen to be super insanely fast and leave us in their dirt.
Ready or not here we come!!!
October 1, 2014
I Must Confess....
I'm a little bit of a nervous wreck over the upcoming 50.
Maybe I am putting too much pressure on myself and my horse. To be clear: I don't give a hoot about winning, top 10, or BC. I just want to finish. I don't particularly care if I take 11 hr 59 mins to do so either. I just want to finish.
But there is this nagging voice that has started in my head. It asks questions like:
"Have I really conditioned her enough for this?"
"Is it even fair to ask her to do this for me?"
"Would it be worth the try if I break my horse in the attempt?"
"Are we even fast enough?"
"Why not just drop down to the LD since I know she can do that barring an accident or freak happening?"
AAAAHHH!!!
I was fine, bold and ready until the bottom fell out of all my plans. The hubby and W were supposed to come spend the weekend with me and help support me emotionally as well as what they could for water buckets, grain, e-lytes etc... at the holds. S was supposed to ride the LD Saturday and have time to help me get Gem and myself through the second half of our ride.
But neither are going anymore.
It became highly unpractical to bring an almost 2 year old to ridecamp for the weekend, renting an RV was insanely expensive and the closest house to rent is 40 minutes away. Then I changed my plans to ride Friday and go up Thurs so I could come home Saturday and only miss 3/4s of one weekend day with W. S can't leave Thurs and doesn't want to drive 4.5-5 hours alone, so she is re-routing to another ride that is closer and the same weekend. I briefly thought about changing my plans as well, but the other ride is on all deep sandy trails and Gem hates sand plus hasn't been ridden in it in well over a year. It would be a disaster to ask her to go 50 miles in deep sand when not prepared.
So I am alone for this. I won't know anyone in camp, won't have anyone to help crew, won't have anyone to take a celebratory finish line picture or give me a consolatory hug if we get pulled.
Yes, I am feeling a bit sorry for myself right now, which is not something I am prone to do at all.
Anyway....I am going to defeat the nagging beast encouraging me to wimp out on the only goal I had for 2014. I want this first 50. I want it badly. I just don't want to break my horse in the process.
I know this may be far fetched, but I have a small hope of still getting a decade award. She is 15. A horse just did Tevis at 22. If I manage her right, pick the right rides, and ride smart it is possible to do a 50 when she is 25. But every year we waste waiting to begin, is another year longer we have to keep at it. So now is the best time.
I may need to adjust my thinking a little. I desperately want that 50 completion and this is my only option for 2014, but maybe that is too much pressure. Maybe I need to just go into it and see how far we can get. Can we do 1 loop solo and without aid? How about 2? How about 3 or 4 or 5? Actually, I don't know how many loops there are and I am praying fervently that all holds are in camp since out areas will be very difficult for me to handle.
Deep breath. I need to go ride tonight.
Maybe I am putting too much pressure on myself and my horse. To be clear: I don't give a hoot about winning, top 10, or BC. I just want to finish. I don't particularly care if I take 11 hr 59 mins to do so either. I just want to finish.
But there is this nagging voice that has started in my head. It asks questions like:
"Have I really conditioned her enough for this?"
"Is it even fair to ask her to do this for me?"
"Would it be worth the try if I break my horse in the attempt?"
"Are we even fast enough?"
"Why not just drop down to the LD since I know she can do that barring an accident or freak happening?"
AAAAHHH!!!
I was fine, bold and ready until the bottom fell out of all my plans. The hubby and W were supposed to come spend the weekend with me and help support me emotionally as well as what they could for water buckets, grain, e-lytes etc... at the holds. S was supposed to ride the LD Saturday and have time to help me get Gem and myself through the second half of our ride.
But neither are going anymore.
It became highly unpractical to bring an almost 2 year old to ridecamp for the weekend, renting an RV was insanely expensive and the closest house to rent is 40 minutes away. Then I changed my plans to ride Friday and go up Thurs so I could come home Saturday and only miss 3/4s of one weekend day with W. S can't leave Thurs and doesn't want to drive 4.5-5 hours alone, so she is re-routing to another ride that is closer and the same weekend. I briefly thought about changing my plans as well, but the other ride is on all deep sandy trails and Gem hates sand plus hasn't been ridden in it in well over a year. It would be a disaster to ask her to go 50 miles in deep sand when not prepared.
So I am alone for this. I won't know anyone in camp, won't have anyone to help crew, won't have anyone to take a celebratory finish line picture or give me a consolatory hug if we get pulled.
Yes, I am feeling a bit sorry for myself right now, which is not something I am prone to do at all.
Anyway....I am going to defeat the nagging beast encouraging me to wimp out on the only goal I had for 2014. I want this first 50. I want it badly. I just don't want to break my horse in the process.
I know this may be far fetched, but I have a small hope of still getting a decade award. She is 15. A horse just did Tevis at 22. If I manage her right, pick the right rides, and ride smart it is possible to do a 50 when she is 25. But every year we waste waiting to begin, is another year longer we have to keep at it. So now is the best time.
I may need to adjust my thinking a little. I desperately want that 50 completion and this is my only option for 2014, but maybe that is too much pressure. Maybe I need to just go into it and see how far we can get. Can we do 1 loop solo and without aid? How about 2? How about 3 or 4 or 5? Actually, I don't know how many loops there are and I am praying fervently that all holds are in camp since out areas will be very difficult for me to handle.
Deep breath. I need to go ride tonight.
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